Hi guys! Happy Weekend! The sun is shining life is good. If you are looking for the Carnival Recipe it follows this post. It is a good one.
Today I have DL Moresse, indie writer, on the blog. He is the author of The Warden Threat and The Warden War.
Today he is here to share with us an ode to writing. It is in the Dr. Seuss style and lots of fun. Enjoy. Stick around for the giveaway and my review of The Warden Threat.
A big thanks to Mr. Morrese for being here today and for being incredibly patient with me, while he watied months for me to review his book. I totally bit off more than I can chew and am diligently working to dig out from the committment pile. Lesson learned!
Now here is David:
Sleep would not come,
Although it was night,
So I went to my keyboard
And started to write.
Who knows what possessed me?
It haven't a clue,
But I banged out some words.
And my confidence grew.
"Hey, this is good!"
I said to myself
As I grabbed the thesaurus
I had on a shelf.
My characters lived.
My dialog sang.
I kept right on writing.
The telephone rang.
"This is your boss,
You're late in for work."
"I quit! I'm a writer."
I hung up on the jerk.
And each day thereafter
I followed my muse.
I dreamed of the movies rights,
Sales and reviews.
I'd have a bestseller.
This was not in doubt.
I just needed time,
But my money ran out.
Bill payers called me.
I took out a loan.
I bought frozen pizzas
Then shut off my phone.
Just a bit longer
And all would be well.
The best novel ever
Would be mine to sell.
Manuscript polished,
I sent it to all
Publishers, agents,
Both big and small.
This wouldn't take long.
I could endure.
They'd recognize genius,
I knew this for sure.
I waited each day
As the postman came by,
Delivering bills
But still no reply.
Then, six months later,
A letter to me
Penned in my hand
My SASE.
Clutching at hope,
I noted the day,
Tore open the letter
And screamed out, "No way!"
This wasn't the offer
I'd waited for
But a form letter reject.
The next week, four more.
What were they thinking?
How could they say "No?"
Didn't they read it?
Didn't they know?
They were turning down millions
They were turning down fame,
I thought, vainly searching
For others to blame.
Idiots! Morons!
Purveyors of pap!
Wouldn't know a good book
If it jumped in their lap.
I needed to write.
I had things to say.
My stories were good.
They just didn't pay.
Starving is something
I'd rather prevent.
Art should come first,
But I must pay the rent.
Gulping back pride,
I called my old job.
The boss hung up on me,
Ungrateful slob.
I searched everywhere
To find a position
To carry me through
To my next book submission.
I've got a new job now.
It comes with a hat.
I smile and I ask,
"Want fries with that?"
But when I go home
My muse has the stage,
Encouraging me
To write one more page.
And someday I know
That others will state
That the stories I've written
Are simply great.
But for now I am doing
The best that I might.
I pay all my bills.
In my free time, I write.
"I'm a great writer,
I know you are, too.
But don't quit your job
You'll regret if you do.
This ‘laugh-out-loud’ parody is a unique book. Technically science fiction, it is almost an anti-fantasy, which pokes a fair, or perhaps an unfair amount of good-natured fun at the serious tone and dependence on magic common to many epic fantasy adventure genre novels. With its charming and truly likeable characters, witty, intelligent humor, and prose style blending humorous science fiction and epic fantasy elements, The Warden Threat is a delight. It is sure to appeal to readers of these genres who may be looking for something fresh and different.Prince Donald, the idealistic third son of the king of Westgrove, believes he may be the only one able to protect his country from an invasion spearheaded by an ancient and massive magical stone warrior known as the Warden of Mystic Defiance. Donald, unfortunately, is woefully unprepared. His only real understanding of such things comes from his reading of adventure stories. When he finds an ancient scroll he believes may allow him to take control of the mysterious Warden, he eagerly takes on the task. He dreams of saving the kingdom and becoming a hero like those in his epic adventure stories. To his dismay, his quest turns out to be nothing like he imagined. He finds the stories in his library seriously understate the complexities and hardships involved. He also soon realizes that the real world can be much more confusing than fictional ones, and that the hero is not necessarily predestined to save the day.
Kindle Edition
Published September 9th 2011
Three Stars: A funny foray in the fantasy genre.
Prince Donald, third heir to the throne, sets out to find an adventure. As the youngest son, he has little responsibility in his life. No one really takes him seriously. Being young and impressionable, he longs for a thrilling experience. He hopes to journey through his kingdom and perhaps save a damsel in distress or stop some bandits. Anything that will allow him to be a hero like those he worships in his books. He is accompanied by Kwestor, an old, experienced and salty ranger. Donald first realizes that things are not always as rosy as portrayed in books when his companion informs him he must go take a poop. Really!? There is no mention of pooping in heroic tales! While Kwestor is off in the bushes, Donald hears the sounds of danger up ahead. Without thinking clearly, he dives into what appears to be a robbing. He brandishes his sword and for his efforts he receives a kick to the groin and a bash to the head. Kwestor, frantically looks for his ward and finds that he is witness to a strange scene. The would be bandit, is not the culprit, in fact, the not so bright young man is offering the robbed peasant family money to make up for the damages wrought by the real bandits. Strange. Eventually the duo ends up taking on the generous, slightly dim witted Muce. The three traverse the kingdom and soon hear rumors of troops organizing on the border of the kingdom and in response Prince Donald's father is organizing his own troops. A story is being whispered, one that tells of the Warden, a large statue that no one has been able to explain. Supposedly, the Warden can be brought to life and used in battle. Donald immediately latches onto the tale. Perhaps this is the way he can become a hero. Can he get there first and animate the statue and prevent a war and become the hero of his dreams?
What I Liked:
- I don't delve into the fantasy genre too often. When I do, I expect to find a tale with heroes, strange people and kingdoms, unique languages and danger. I was pleasantly surprised that this book completely strays away from the fixed format, and instead I was treated to a light hearted and humorous story. This was a fun departure.
- I really enjoyed the three main characters, Donald, Muce and Kwestor. Prince Donald is naive and fool hardy. I like how he dives right into situations even though he is completely inexperienced and in way over his head. I applaud his efforts to get out of the castle and quit being a pampered prince. Along the way, he learns a great deal about himself and the peasants that occupy his kingdom. He discovers that they are great people, even though they are a bit smellier than what he is used to. He grows and changes a great deal along the way. Muce, is just downright lovable. He is a gentle, kindhearted, simple and slightly dim witted. His biggest concern is always where his next meal is coming from. Seriously, this guy made me smile. Kwestor is the voice of reason in the group. He is somewhat sarcastic, but all in all he is a great leader and his quick wits prove to be invaluable.
- I liked the legend of the Warden and was eager to learn more about this statue that no one can explain. Can it really come to life? Who built it? What is it made of? These are questions I was dying to know.
- If you are looking for something different, the author himself bills this book as being "technically science fiction and almost anti fantasy", then you should check this out. The Warden Threat and its sequel The Warden War can be purchased for $2.99.
- This is a self published book. For the most part it is a clean manuscript without glaring errors. I could use a tiny bit of polish with the addition of a few commas here and there, but overall a good solid read.
And The Not So Much:
- This book has numerous view points. While I wasn't for the most part, bothered by the switching of voices between the three main characters, but when the point of view changed to lesser voices, I was not happy. Usually, the addition of voices provides more insight, but in this case, I was sometimes confused. I didn't fully understand why some of the views were included.
- This book has a simple plot to follow and stays away from the complexities that are often present in the fantasy genre, which I liked. What I didn't enjoy was that the story built momentum toward the possibility of armed conflict between the kingdoms. Prince Donald uncovers some important information that might apprehend the conflict. He just needs to convince his father. Just when it looks like Donald is going to get his chance to prove himself, the book ends. It isn't a cliffhanger it just abruptly stops, leaving me with a whole bunch of questions. I wish the book had a more clear resolution.
The Warden Threat, was a very different read from what I expected. I found in this book endearing characters, funny dialogue and an interesting plot. This book steps far outside of the normal parameters of fantasy and science fiction. It is unique. You can check out a copy for $2.99.
Favorite Quotations:
“Adventurers did not poop. Well, they did, but they certainly never talked about it.”
“He could not recall one time in all of the adventure stories he read, and he read all of them, when one of the heroes went and took a poop.”
“Sometimes he just could not understand people. They always tried to change the inevitable.”
“The road is rough for everyone until it ends. Some are just rougher than others.”
“There’s the kind who likes to help people and really seems to care about them and then there;s the other kind who just likes to tell people how bad they are all the time and how they need to feel guilty about it.”
“I’ve been meaning to for some time now but one day follows another with little things to do and plans get put off until a great number of tomorrows have passed by before you realize it.”
“I don’t know what my old grandmother’s meat loaf was made out of either but that doesn’t mean it was magical.”
A big thanks to D.L. Moresse for providing me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I appreciate his patience, as it took me so long to get his book reviewed.
